Thinkday - What Happened to My Childhood Dreams?

I struggled with whether to post this thought or not, in fear that some people would see it as depressing, but in the end I decided it was worth it. For a few weeks now I have been thinking about fulfilling your dreams and destiny, wait that came out wrong, I have been thinking of what it means to fulfill one’s dreams and destiny. I don’t know about you, but I always feel that there is something more I am meant to do than what I am doing now. I don’t know if this is from a feeling of not accomplishing my childhood dreams, or a higher power at work, but I constantly feel that the status quo isn’t enough.

When I was a kid, man I feel old, I wanted to be so many things. Sure, I wanted to be an astronaut and a police man, all the typical boy things, but from the time I was a pre-teen I wanted to be involved in Hollywood, an elected representative, or a successful writer of comics and novels.  What did I become? I got a Bachelor’s degree in Marketing, opened and closed my own retail business, worked odd management jobs, became a market analyst, and now I am a technical writer for a large marketing and sales organization…even though you can’t tell from the quality of my writing on this blog.

In the end I think my desires for success as a kid and teenager weren’t motivated by the amount of money these careers brought in, it was more about doing something great that affected people’s lives. I kid not; I would watch the Academy Awards every year with my family and think “that is what I want to do. I want to be the one inspiring other people out there.”  But, like most people, I don’t think I have accomplished those dreams from childhood. I am almost 32 years old and my options are limited. When you are young and just starting out your choices are limitless. Without a family, or the need for a stable income, you can experiment and do what you are passionate about until you succeed. Once a family, kids, and a career come into play, your priorities change, it becomes suddenly more important to guarantee an income, and fulfill responsibilities, rather than take a risk to further your dreams.

I think this is why we see so many people succeeding at their dreams when they are either really young, or much later in life. If you plot on a line the people who are really successful, with when they became successful by age, you will find a high point in the beginning (20-30), and another at the end (50-60), and a low valley in the middle (30-50). Opportunities don’t come as often when a steady income is not just needed, but is necessary, or rather, when the need for a steady income exists it becomes harder to recognize and take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves.

I am not saying that all is lost, and you should give up on your dreams when you start a family or become vested in a career, I am saying that things change and your ability to shift and make your dreams a reality decreases during the mid-life period, before swinging back up with time. Of course this is a blanket statement and exceptions do exist, but for the most part as you age your opportunity for change declines.

I have seen many parents push their lost dreams on their children. They try so hard to live through their kids. A good example is when a parent who couldn’t play sports pushes their children to play. When we do this we are not helping them, but limiting them. Each child has a personality of their own, and a destiny of their own as well.  It is our job as parents to facilitate their ability to succeed at their dreams. While my opportunities to fulfill my dreams dwindle with age I should focus on what I can do to help my kids succeed. My income provides a roof over their head so they don’t need to worry about where they will sleep. If I plan and am fortunate enough, my income will help them go to college and pursue their dreams. This is imperative, if I can’t accomplish my dreams, I will do everything in my power and within reason to help my children accomplish theirs.

The last thing I want to imply is a feeling that you stop growing and dreaming in mid-life; that you should never reach beyond what you are today. Quite the contrary, I think it is important to keep engaged and to try new things. I for one have always wanted to play the guitar, and someday I will learn how. I am just saying that the opportunity to pursue big, life altering dreams is more limited in mid-life. This can cause a lot of conflict with people, ever heard of a mid-life crisis? Everyone I have ever talked to who experienced one always said they were feeling frustrated, or that life had passed them by; that they needed to recapture something they had lost. This frustration, in my opinion, comes from a deep rooted feeling of not accomplishing dreams from early in life.

Now I hope this post was not all doom and gloom for those of you reading. I actually think this is a positive topic. Why fight against something that you can’t win. Why not help those that you can. As far as I am concerned the primary goal of any generation is to improve things for the next generation. If we couldn’t accomplish our dreams, then we damn well do all we can to help the next generation accomplish theirs. And that is what I’m thinking about.